I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
