No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
