I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
