Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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