id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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