Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I have post one night stand depression
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
