Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
