Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize