Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
