Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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