yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
