"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
