You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
