thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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