So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
