Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
how does that bad decision feel?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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