I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
