Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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