dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i out mim tonsoeep
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