The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I want her autograph on my taint
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
