If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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