Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
