the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
