Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
