Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
