fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
