The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The feeling are messing with the penis
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
