Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
