...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize