So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
