you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
