I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
