I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize