im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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