hotel room ftw
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
