I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize