I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
