he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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