I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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