I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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