I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize