Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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