There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
