It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
