Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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