I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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