Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
