I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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