those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
