I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
