im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
