Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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