i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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