did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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