I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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