4 words: hood of his car
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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