dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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