I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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