We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
